You’re thinking, “Oh my word?! What?!” Yes, I do. That’s my school, and I’m very proud of it. If you’re in Christian circles, you’re thinking, “No, no, she’s lying! She can’t be that cool and go to that school!” Okay, so I made up the last part. Still. If you’re not Christian circles, you’re thinking, “Huh?” Bob Jones is a school founded by a guy named Bob Jones (who would have guessed?). It was run by him, then his son, BJ Jr., then by his son, the third, and then, because the forth didn’t want to, and he’s cool like that, Stephen Jones. It’s that crazy school with the pink and blue sidewalks, the moat with alligators, and the guards with machine guns who shoot to kill. Naturally, I’m kidding. The moat has crocodiles, not alligators. People hate my school. They never wish to go there. In fact, they have rules! Can you believe that? A school with rules? Ridiculous. After growing very tired of misinformed people (I actually got into an argument with a girl who was convinced my school had pink and blue sidewalks. This was after first semester Freshman year. I was pretty sure I knew what I was talking about. However, she was not convinced.), and people who just think it’s the worst, I have decided to clear up a few things and make a case for Bob Jones University.
Problem one: The rules. Seriously, guys? The world has rules. Take gravity for instance. What if our planet decided to disregard the rule of gravity? Well, we’d all suffocate in airless space. Rules are there to stop stupid things from happening. They stop people (or at least make it extremely difficult) from immorality, getting drunk, destroying things, etc. I would agree with you if you pointed out that some rules were dumb, annoying, or insert your word of choice (keep it G, people!) here. But you know what? I am ready and willing to take it like a woman just to get an excellent education. Man/Woman up, people! (By the way, you didn’t hear this from me, but there’s a Starbucks just down the street that has WiFi!)
Problem two: Dress code. Oh my word, they make you wear nice things, just like you’re going to be doing for the rest of your life!!! Honestly. Yes, girls have to wear skirts, and guys have to wear pants and collared shirts. Get over it. It will not result in your death. This is coming from a person who hates skirts with a white-hot passion. I do. If I was given a choice of wearing a skirt or nothing, I’d pick the latter. (Okay, so that’s not entirely true, I’d probably wear the skirt for modesty reasons.) Most people (with my good self as an exception—I will be wearing a wet suit or a lab coat for most of my life) will be wearing professional wear for the rest of their lives. Yes, this includes pants, collared shirts, and skirts. (However, I would like to point out just in case anyone on BJU staff [Hi! Please don’t give me demerits!] sees this, that business dress includes pants for woman. Just saying.) Suck it up people. You are going to have to get used to it.
Problem three: It’s a boring school!!! I would like to point out that I go there. No place is boring when I go there. Secondly, (since the last point was definitely valid, oh yes!) it is not a boring school. It’s a blast! The teachers are fun and exciting, there’s always something fun going on, we have societies (Kind of like sororities and fraternities, but cooler. Chi Kappa Deltla for the win!), we have outings, activities, sports (I had never heard of water polo until I went there… ), and tons of other things. For instance, there’s tag. This is a campus wide game (yes, this means teachers, too!) of tag. You get some one’s name, and you have to track them down while staying away from the person with your name. It was fun. I saw my seventy year-old history teacher get chased across the Bridge of Nations by a Freshman girl. He escaped, by the way. It’s a fun place, okay. Come see!
Problem four: Only weird people go there. I won’t deny this one. Weird people do go there. I go there, after all. However, by weird people you are thinking homeschoolers (home schooled people, think extreme homeschoolers). Yes, people like that go there. They are in Bryan and Sigma Kappa Ro. We refer to them affectionately as Bojes. They make up about twenty percent of the BJU population. Cool people go there. As I am growing tired of using myself as an example, I’ll drag my parents into this. My dad is the coolest doctor ever! And I’m not biased. Sure, he’s a little crazy, but he’s cool! He’s not all Bojy. He tried to close my laptop on my head once. Anyway. Then, there’s my mom. She’s the most amazing woman to ever walk the earth! She’s like Wonder Woman with blonde hair (and one of those flexy-rulers instead of a whip)! She’s an Amazon among women! She is the mother of eight children, two of whom are toddler boys, two of whom are myself and Jonathan. She was a nurse in the OR. That takes guts, people! She even put my dad through Med School. She’s way cool, and the best mom ever! Yes, weird people go there. Dare to be weird.
Problem five: Bob Jones won’t get me anywhere! Yeah, and Obama is going to fix this current economy (This is written during the “recession” of 2008-? It’s currently 2011. Just so you know.), I’m going to be a dragon-queen-vampire -ninja when I grow up, my brother’s drinking tea with bigfoot, and boys have brains. (Naturally, the most preposterous was saved for last.) Ninety-five percent of Pre-Med students get into Med School, the vast majority of students who test for Grad School get in, and big companies come to the school to recruit. My dad has been practicing Colon and Rectal surgery (a specialty) for twelve years. He owns two houses and a property (because he’s a closet farmer), puts me through school, and cares for his lovely wife and seven other kids. I’m not bragging, I’m just using his hard work as an example. Bob Jones kicks your behind so hard you go far, if you work hard. Don’t give me stuff about how it won’t get you anywhere. If you work hard, BJU will prepare you well for the world outside.
Problem six: I can’t date there. Seriously, I can’t believe I’m considering this one. But, it is every MRS degree’s complaint. Bob Jones is like the Christian dating capital of the world. Proof one: the dinning common is on the girls’ side of campus, and the library is on the guys’. Proof two: We have this thing called Artist Series. They encourage guys to take a date. Proof three: Every society has a dating outing. This is an out in which you must take a date. Is that simple enough? Bob Jones’s goal (after the good, Christian education one, of course) is to have you married by the time you graduate. (And no, Grandma and Grandpa, my goal in life is not to marry a BJU guy.) So there.
There you go. Hopefully I haven’t bored you to death. Hopefully my humor and fun-poking amused you enough to keep you reading. Bob Jones is a fun school with stellar academics (you parents will love this: it’s cheap!!). We have “College Up Close” days where you can come and visit and check out the school. As a personal testimony, I vowed never to go to BJU. Then, when I decided to go, I did so with the attitude of a spy destined for torture. But you know what, I love my school. If I had to choose again, I’d pick BJU. So, take a word of advice from me: don’t knock it until you try it.
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